Single and happy, instructions for use

Who are the singles? What is celibacy the name? How is it considered? How better to live it? While they are about 18 million in France, and singles are not always well seen.

Being single and happy
 The journalist Nadia Daam publishes How not to become a cat girl, a plea for solo life. She was the guest with the psychoanalyst Fabienne Kraemer, author of Solo no Solo , from Ali Rebeihi's program, Grand Bien Vous Faire. Together, they went around the question of life outside the couple.

The single, necessarily an old cat girl?
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CULTURE

How to become a happy single?

In fact, celibacy covers an infinity of situations. They are 18 million singles in France. Among them, there are truly single people, but also those who have occasional partners, or a sustainable partner, but do not live with them. Some have sexual friendships ...


And contrary to popular belief: singles are very surrounded. Studies show that when you are solo, you are more often involved in social and civic life. While in a relationship, there is a tendency to shut up, stay at home, gain weight ...

In any case: it is a badly perceived situation. But that sometimes attracts compassion, or a form of benevolence.

Celibacy, place of social pressure
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IDEAS

I walk alone

From a certain age, celibacy is seen as a handicap. The single is almost the girl with a wooden leg. In any case, it is perceived as an anomaly, as a defeat.

In the same way that in certain professional categories one is between two jobs, or two projects, when one is an unmarried woman, one is supposed to be between two stories and to have to justify oneself ... The celibacy is like a sentimental unemployment. There must be something wrong.

In the women's press, articles often say "celibacy how to cope? As if you had to fight something, even with the term "celibattant" ... It describes the idea that you have to change that.


Celibacy: the last bastion of sexism
There are many more young women who suffer because they are much more stigmatized than men. A man is told when he is in his unmarried period that he has a disjointed life, that he seduces, that he has fun, that he takes his time to couple ...

While a woman tends to label her as a person who misses something, who gets anxious, who is not happy in this situation.

For the sociologist, Jean-Claude Kaufmann:

The woman who lives alone and does not want a child can do it, but she has to explain herself constantly.
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CULTURE

Should the couple be a shared egoism?

Celibacy is often seen as if it were a fault, it is as if there was a responsibility and the woman had to wear it. And to correct something in her life in her relationships, men to women, in any case, she is summoned to do something: "you should go out", "you should make efforts," she hears.

If you type "single mother" in Google, we offer: "single mother helps" "single mother, redo her life" "single mother, solitude" or workshops to apply her foundation to meet the soul sister…

So either it is creepy, or something of the order of superficial injunction to improve his physique.


Before 20 years old, celibacy is accepted after 35 years ... It is more complicated.

At more than 35 years without children one becomes a humanitarian cause for his parents. But celibacy is rarely a dream, nor a life project, but this situation must be lived must be lived in all its normal. Women must be allowed to live their independence.

Dating apps, a solution for singles?
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SOCIETY

Darling solitude or connected friendship?

Meetic, Tinder, Adoptunmec ... Nadia Daam does not know anyone who met with. These are urban legends. They are certainly not a new way to meet the soul mate, it is rather for the "coup d'une soir", and there, it is very good.

Applications are not seen in the same way by men and women. For men they give them a reason not to fix themselves, and to remain a hunter. Because the purpose of applications is to make money and for that they have an interest in people moving and not settling.

Besides, how do you know if a man is really free? When he says to you: "with my wife, it's over, we're living together for practical reasons ...". You must ask him: "What about your wife?" "Often the woman does not have the same version, she usually feels like a husband at home ...

Why are singles more and more numerous?
Even if for some, it is in the encounter with the other that one discovers oneself, the couple is less dreaming. Some like, André Dussolier have the impression to forget themselves in couple:


Above all, and it's pretty healthy, today we may not want to sacrifice anymore. It is easier to claim the right to selfishness. But as a couple, we always have a number of concessions to make, but we do not necessarily want to negotiate. One can be happy alone because free.